This series is part of my healing. It’s a deeply personal reflection on a relationship I was in with someone who, from my perspective and through the support of therapy, I’ve come to believe may have shown narcissistic traits or patterns. I’m not a psychologist, and I’m not here to diagnose anyone. I’m simply sharing what I felt, what I lived through, and how I’m finding my way back to myself after a deeply emotional experience.
I loved this person—deeply.
That love wasn’t pretend. It was real to me. And maybe that’s what has made the pain so confusing and hard to untangle. I’ve walked through a storm of emotions—grief, love, heartbreak, shame, confusion, anger, and at times even rage. But even through all of that, I’ve never carried hate in my heart. I don’t now. I still want this person—and everyone—to find happiness, peace, and whatever path brings them healing. That part is true for me.
On grief, love, and what we need from each other:
One thing I’ve noticed is that when a relationship ends suddenly , especially one that’s intense or complicated, people often don’t know how to respond. But what I’ve learned is this: the end of a relationship can feel just like a death. You’re grieving a life, a future, a version of yourself you thought was safe.
And when people say, “Just get over it,” it can cut like a knife.
For me, it felt like they were saying you don’t matter, your love didn’t matter, your pain doesn’t matter. That kind of dismissal doesn’t help—it hurts. If you’ve ever said that to someone, maybe consider that they’re already carrying a weight you can’t see. A little empathy can go a long way.
What I hope for…
What I hope for—what I genuinely wish—is that as human beings, we can start showing up for one another with more compassion. That we stop brushing off each other’s pain just because it makes us uncomfortable. That we choose honesty, kindness, and accountability, even when it’s hard. Because how we treat each other when things are falling apart says more than how we act when everything’s easy.
This isn’t about blame.
This is about how I experienced love, loss, and self-discovery. This is about how I lost myself trying to hold onto something that, in the end, wasn’t meant for me—and how I’m learning to forgive myself for that.
I’ve said things in frustration and fear that I wish I hadn’t. I’ve made mistakes, too. But hate is not something I carry in my heart, because I’ve learned that holding on to that only poisons me.
This is my truth. This is my healing.
And I share it in case someone out there needs a reminder that their pain is valid, their healing is possible, and their story is worth telling.
Coming Next:
In part two, I’ll share how I experienced the relationship as a cycle—what I now understand, through reflection and therapy, may have been a pattern often seen in narcissistic grooming. Again, this is not a diagnosis. This is my story.